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This post was born from the process of me finally starting to realize that I was unhappy living with my then alcoholic husband. It’s similar to “And I stayed…” and it’s similar because that was my life, and had been for the past 26 years…  much like The Boiled Frog story, when something is happening ever so slowly you don’t realize it until it’s there. After this was written, and for the next three years, I continued to process my feelings and finally I began thinking about what was best for me and my youngest child.  This part of the process is not an easy one, the one when you decide to sever ties.

Words cut down
chop me at knees
make me small
I stay
no reason to leave
no bruise on my skin.
Words cut down
chop me at knees
make me so small
I disappear
I stay
no reason to leave
you don’t do this often.
You are good man
good provider
you love me
I’m the most important
person in your life
you would be nothing
without me.
Words continue to cut,
this time not just me,
boys are affected
I stay, no reason to
leave — no proof of damage,
and it’s my fault anyway.
I continue to stay
I have no good reason to
leave, I have everything,
house, home, family…

~L. Mireles  November 2006