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This is dedicated to all of you who are in a place in your life and you don’t know what to do.  Change is never easy, even when you like change. 

At this point in my life, I was in the 2nd stage of change, the Contemplation stage.  I would write my thoughts on paper, hoping to make sense of them. 

sigh…I don’t even know what day it is.
If only for a brief second,
I understand that this is my life,
for better, for worse
nothing will change, unless
I choose to change it…
and I won’t choose to change it because
the unknown is just that
–the unknown, the path not chosen…
because it is the scary path.
What a coward am I!
Even though it’s lost its appeal,
the old shoe is more comfortable,
the worn blanket has memories.
Who am I to think that
I can change one life
and not change an entire
string of lives in the
chain reaction?
I haven’t chosen to stay,
I haven’t chosen to leave.
I have chosen to continue living
this life, walk down the same
path, swallow the same tears.
My only reprieve is my
fantasy  life.  My other world where
I am safely cocooned, untouched
as it were, by all except one.
A non-existent life, in a
non-existent world, living a
non-existing lie, in a
non-existing second.
How dramatic am I
my little inconsequential
life — can be blown up

~L. Mireles 29 December 2006