What do you say to someone, who knows he’s dying.
Something that won’t seem trivial, insignificant or trite.
Is it possible to say something that if for only one second,
it would make them smile, and feel good? Something that,
would transport them to another thought dimension where
they don’t have to think about their approaching demise.
Recently I learned of the passing of someone I knew.
I say “knew” because I lived above her for five years;
we talked, we laughed, and she taught me to refinish furniture.
She bore two more children, and I one in those five years.
I then moved away. And as all things with life, out of sight, out of mind.
Our children are now 30+ years old.
In August, about three months ago, I spoke to her.
I knew then that she had battled cancer, but she was in remission,
that is, until she was in remission no longer.
Yesterday, the 19th of October, I was saddened to learn of her recent passing.
Later that day, as we were walking around in the mall, I spoke with another acquaintance friend whose husband is in his last stages of battling cancer.
His wife, my friend, has been taking care of him, along with her grown children.
She is trying to keep a good front. She asked me to send him a card,
“he likes reading messages” she says to me. “He sleeps all days and has wasted to nothing”, but “he likes hearing from friends”, people he knows or once knew.
You know, the people who you know when you were healthy, and if you run into them in the streets, you’d stop and say hello. Catch up on the children, and say “we’ll have to get together sometime”. That sometime never comes, but the sentiments are still real. So my question now is, as I think about sending Paul a card, what do I say? If it were me, what would I want to read in these messages to me? If it were you, what would you want to read?
Loly M.
October 20, 2013
sandrabranum said:
It doesn’t help to know this is something we’ll all face one day. If I could send a card to Mom I would say I hope that when my comes I can be as brave as you.
sandrabranum said:
Reblogged this on SandraBranum's Blog and commented:
What would you say?
ahhhpoetry said:
It is a tough thing.
lscotthoughts said:
It’s good to see you back! I’m behind on reading blogs, so forgive my delayed reply! I honestly don’t know the answer to this. When my friend died 3 years ago from a brain tumor, up until the end, anyone who spoke to him, used encouraging words about not giving up, staying strong, etc…it all sounds so lame when we’re not in their shoes..but, I guess it beats the alternative to being negative. So, I suppose I would just want the same and maybe simply to read that I’m in their thoughts and prayers…who knows what the outcome will be, but knowing you have a support system may just be enough..anyway, I’m sorry for your loss, too..even though you had lost contact for years, I’m sure it’s still hard…
Lauren xx
ahhhpoetry said:
Thanks Lauren. It is tough, and you’re right all those words of encouragement sound so trite. I’m not sure what I’d want to hear. I guess I would want to just feel normal. But what you wrote makes sense, thanks for the input.